ELectric 102 Coach Kidd & Libby Jo

Recently, 27-year-old Kong Lin of Putian, China decided it would be a GOOD idea to use a pair of four-inch nail scissors . . . to pick some food out of his teeth after eating. But while he was using the scissors as a toothpick, one of Kong's friends told a joke and he started laughing . . . which caused him to accidentally SWALLOW the scissors. According to his doctor, quote, "When [Kong] came in, his face was twisted, pale, and sweating. [He] was having difficulty swallowing, and blood was mixed with his saliva. "The entire surgery took around 30 minutes. Luckily Mr. Lin does not have much of a wound left inside his throat."

You've heard of the Snuggie, right? It's that ridiculous blanket with sleeves which, according to the commercial, quote, "gives you the freedom to use your hands . . . while staying snuggly warm." Anyway, if you love the Snuggie, then you might want to check out the Peekaru . . . which the product website advertises as a, quote, "fleece vest that zips over a soft baby carrier to keep you and your child warm."
Or think of it this way: The Peekaru is a fleece vest . . . that has a kangaroo pouch for your baby.

Monday, January 19, 2009, Sandor Sarkadi of Debrecen, Hungary,150 miles east of Budapest, underwent surgery to remove a kidney stone. But Sandor didn't have just any old kidney stone. No, his kidney stone was about the size of a coconut . . . and it weighed TWO-AND-A-HALF POUNDS.

David Mackie, a 35-year-old salesman from Oklahoma had the INGENIOUS idea of personalizing his Capital One credit card with a picture of NICK NOLTE'S immortal, 2002 DUI mug shot. So he went online and submitted a design featuring the picture . . . and the image was APPROVED. The card was printed and sent to him . . . but just a few days later, somebody at Capital One caught the error. It turns out that celebrity images are among the things Capital One won't let you have on your credit card. So they called Mackie and asked him to return the card. Sadly, he complied . . . but at least he got 50 bucks in credit from Capital One for his troubles.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the tidiest person in the world. But there's a thin line between filthiness and all-out psychosis and I'm guessing THIS guy crossed it a long time ago. Last Friday, police were called to investigate a missing-persons report in Broughton, England. It seems no one had seen 74-year-old Gordon Stewart for a few days and his neighbors were worried something had happened to him. Anyway, the police entered Gordon's house, and that's where they found him dead. So what happened? Apparently, Gordon had been accumulating trash and other sorts of junk inside his house for at least a DECADE and he'd created an intricate network of tunnels in order to make his way around all the garbage. But it seems the tunnels were so confusing that Gordon got lost and died of dehydration.

37-year-old Mirela Gradinaru of Arad, Romania showed up at the hospital with a huge aerosol can of hairspray lodged in her no-go hole. Mirela refused to tell the doctors how such a can had gotten "up there" as if we couldn't all figure it out for ourselves and Mirela's doctors were forced to surgically remove it from her sphincter. According to an unnamed source at the hospital, quote, "This was not just a little can of deodorant. This was a MASSIVE can of hairspray."

Now it's time to recognize our "Hero of the Day" . . . D-Boy the dog from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Recently, D-Boy's owner . . . a woman named Roberta Trawick . . . was at home when an intruder busted in through the door, pulled out a GUN . . . and told Roberta to get on the floor. Roberta says, quote, "I was too scared to move, I didn't know what to think." Anyway, the next thing Roberta knew, D-Boy came charging in from another room to protect her . . . and the intruder SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD. But get this . . . D-Boy wasn't even fazed. Overall, D-Boy was shot THREE times . . . but he NEVER stopped attacking and, eventually, the intruder got so spooked that he took off. Roberta rushed D-Boy to the vet, and it looks like he's somehow going to pull through.

BARACK OBAMA'S director of speechwriting is a 27-year-old guy named Jon Favreau (--not to be confused with JON FAVREAU who starred in "Swingers" with VINCE VAUGHN, and directed "Iron Man".) Anyway, it seems Jon was doing a little drinking at a recent party, and he was photographed groping a life-sized cardboard cutout of . . . HILLARY CLINTON. Of course, the picture surfaced on . . . that's right . . . Facebook. It was only up for about two hours before Jon took it down, and he hasn't commented on the situation. But Clinton's people don't seem too upset about it. In fact, considering Clinton's complaints about sexism during her Democratic primary battle against Obama, her office responded with a surprising level of humor. After learning about the photo, they released a statement saying, quote, "Senator Clinton is pleased to learn about Jon's obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application."

Visitors to the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois can buy Christmas ornaments that are LITERALLY pieces of crap. That's because the gift shop at the Miller Park Zoo is selling Christmas ornaments that are made out of DROPPINGS collected from the zoo's two reindeer. Seriously. According to zoo officials, the ornaments which they call "Magical Reindeer Gem Ornaments" are created from droppings that have been dried, clear-coated, and either painted or rolled in glitter.

Last December, 23-year-old Ulysses Milanna of Lewiston, tried to join the military . . . but he was told by Army and Navy recruiters that he was too heavy to enlist. See, Ulysses weighed 330 pounds.

But over the past 11 months, Ulysses has managed to lose 140 pounds, which would put him at 190 pounds and yesterday, he began boot camp at the U.S. Marine Corp's training facility in Parris Island, South Carolina.

All I can say is that anyone who has the self-discipline and determination to lose 140 pounds in less than a year . . . is the sort of person I want defending my country. Good work, Ulysses.

Here is yet another example that CRACK DON'T SMOKE ITSELF . . .On Saturday, 38-year-old Evelyn Russo of Palm City, Florida was arrested after she stole $2 in change from a stranger's car. Anyway, Evelyn was arrested for auto burglary and taken to the Indian River County Jail for booking. But while Evelyn was being strip searched, officers at the jail found a glass crack pipe that she'd hidden . . . BETWEEN HER BUTT CHEEKS. The officers added the charge of "introducing contraband into a detention facility" to Evelyn's rap sheet . . . and she's being held on $5,000 bail.

Up until a few months ago, Bill and Sharon Kastrinos of Calistoga, California lived in a respectably-sized 1,800-square-foot home. But when the housing market collapsed, Bill and Sharon decided to rethink their lifestyle . . . by downsizing to a 154-square-foot home. Bill and Sharon's new house is really more of a trailer since it's on wheels, but they say they're happy . . . and they're saving a ton of money. Their downsized home only cost them $15,000 . . . and their utilities only come to about $15 a month. In their larger home, their mortgage payment was $1,500 a month . . . and utilities were $160 a month.

This is going to sound made up, but I promise you . . . it's not. There's a beauty spa in Talmei Elazar, Israel where customers pay $65 . . . to have a bunch of snakes slither around on their body. And this is supposed to be a RELAXING activity.

Earlier this year, a baby monkey at the Jiaozuo City Zoo in China was repeatedly bullied by bigger monkeys . . . and zoo officials had to intervene several times to keep the alpha male monkey from killing the baby. So, to make sure the baby monkey was safe, zoo officials put a dog in the monkey cage . . . to act as the baby's personal bodyguard.

Recently, a picture of 44-year-old Shelley Singer . . . who's a relatively attractive cheerleading coach at Chaparral High School in Scottsdale, Arizona surfaced online. In the picture, Shelley is holding a beer bong . . . while posing with her 18-year-old daughter, Ashley, who's holding a can of Coors Light. Anyway, some people freaked out and started calling for Shelley's head because she was clearly getting wasted with her underage daughter (who's a freshman at the University of Arizona), which is inappropriate since she works with high school kids. But on Wednesday, officials at Chaparral High School announced that Shelley will be allowed to keep her job.

Have you ever thought about what you'd do if you found out you were dying? On some level, I think we've all given it some thought. Well, 72-year-old Andy Lees of Blackburn, England was faced with just that situation last year. See, a year ago, Andy slipped into a diabetic coma. When doctors revived him, they told Andy he was suffering from liver and lung cancer and that he only had FOUR to SIX weeks to live. So Andy bought a heart-shaped headstone then gave away his ENTIRE life savings of $32,000. The thing is .Andy WASN'T dying. The doctors misdiagnosed his chronic obstructive pulmonary disease which is similar to asthma and now he's broke.

Here are comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: ' This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing. '
2. Dressage commentator: ' This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother. '
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ' I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. '
4. Boxing Analyst: ' Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.’
5. Softball announcer: ' If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst: ' He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces. '
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ' Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew. '
8. Soccer commentator: ' Julian Dicks is everywhere. It ' s like they've got eleven Dicks on the field. '
9. Tennis commentator: ' One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said? '

It never ceases to amaze me the stupid things people will do to get into the "Guinness Book of World Records". For example, over the weekend, 9-year-old Tiana Walton of Frodsham, England, set a new world record by placing 25 SNAILS on her face . . . at one time. In order to set the record, you have to balance all the snails on your face, then lean forward for TEN seconds. Tiana smashed the old record of 15 snails, which was set back in March by some Australian dude named Liam Kenny.

Today, a 27-year-old piece of cake from PRINCESS DIANA and PRINCE CHARLES' wedding (-in 1981) will be auctioned off in England and it's expected to bring in around $40,000! It seems crazy that someone would pay so much for a stale piece of cake . . . but it's not unheard of. In 1998, a guy named Benjamin Yim bought a similar slice of cake from Charles and Diana's wedding . . . for $28,600.

Recently, two groups representing elderly people in England filed a complaint with the country's Highways Agency because they say a new "elderly crossing" street sign is offensive. According to a representative for Age Concern England, the sign . . . which depicts two hunched figures using walking sticks . . . quote, "doesn't represent older people as they are (and) should be representative of all vulnerable pedestrians, regardless of age."

Recently, 32-year-old John Pearce of Dartford, England made the bonehead decision that he was going to try and break into a house and rob it in the middle of the day. So John smashed out a front window and started to climb inside the house. But somehow, John managed to get his foot caught in the window frame and he was left hanging UPSIDE DOWN in the window for over an hour. A crowd of neighbors gathered around to make fun of John for being an idiot and eventually, the police showed up and arrested him. John's been charged with burglary with the relatively weak sounding charge of intent to steal. He'll be sentenced on September 5th.

56-year-old David Hayes of Elkin, North Carolina, and his 3-year-old granddaughter, Alyssa, were doing some fishing in the pond behind David's house. At some point, Alyssa asked David to hold her Barbie fishing rod while she went inside to use the bathroom. But just a few moments after Alyssa handed over her fishing rod, David got a bite . . . and after a 25-minute struggle, he finally reeled in a 21-pound, one-ounce catfish. According to the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission, that's the largest catfish ever to be caught in the state. For the record, the catfish was 32 inches long . . . which is two inches longer than Alyssa's Barbie fishing pole.

We all have issues with our parents . . . but this is just sad. An online issue of the "Vallejo Times Herald", which is the newspaper for Vallejo, California . . . a city just north of Oakland, has an obituary you can hardly believe!

According to the obituary, Dolores Aguilar was born in 1929 and died on August 7th. She had, quote, "no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life.
--"I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing. "Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. "But I truly believe at the end of the day, ALL of us will really only miss what we never had . . . a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again. "There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, good bye, mom."

Here's a collection of funny/weird church signs.
Not a lot of thought went into the marketing behind the message, huh?

July 31, 2008

A dog at a southeast Kansas zoo has adopted three tiger cubs abandoned by their mother. Safari Zoological Park owner Tom Harvey said the tiger cubs were born Sunday, but the mother had problems with them.

A day later, the mother stopped caring for them. Harvey said the cubs were wandering around, trying to find their birth mother, who wouldn't pay attention to them. That's when the cubs were put in the care of a golden retriever, Harvey said.

Harvey said it's unusual for dogs to care for tiger cubs, but it does happen. He said he has seen reports of pigs nursing cubs in China, and he actually got the golden retriever after his wife saw television accounts of dogs caring for tiger cubs.

Puppies take about the same amount of time as tiger cubs to develop, and Harvey said the adoptive mother just recently weaned her own puppies.

"The timing couldn't have been any better," he said.

The mother doesn't know the difference, Harvey said. He said the adopted mother licks, cleans and feeds the cubs.

The Safari Zoological Park is a licensed facility open since 1989 and specializes in endangered species.

It has leopards, lions, cougars, baboons, ring-tailed lemurs, bears and other animals. It currently has seven white tigers and two orange tigers.

Because whit tigers are inbred from the first specimen found more than a half-century ago, they are not as genetically stable as orange tigers.

The zoo's previous litter of white tiger cubs was born April 23, although one of the three has since gone to a private zoo near Oklahoma City.

R.I.P.: Eight year-old Reece Fleming recently tied the knot with his longtime friend, Elleanor Pursglove. The London third grader, who had Leukemia, told his parents his dying wish was to tie the knot before he died. Elleanor wore a wedding dress, while Reece wore his favorite shirt. His mother, Lorraine, says, "When we found out that we only had a few weeks with him we tried to do absolutely everything with him that we could. He and Elleanor had been good friends for years, and he always said he wanted to marry her. It was something he had his heart set on. He had asked her a few times, and she finally decided to accept. Their relationship was very strong. I had managed to hold myself together quite well, but when I saw her coming up the path with her bouquet I had to shed a little tear. You can't really describe in words what it was like. Reece and Elleanor were both very quiet, but there was a lot of feeling in the room." The youngsters exchanged vows and rings and were even given a marriage certificate. After the wedding, Reece laid down on a bed and said, “Mom, I can go now.” He died the next day.

DEVO and "New Wave Nigel" from McDonald's
Devo have filed a lawsuit against McDonald's over their "American Idol" inspired Happy Meal toy. The other members of the toy set include "Disco Dave" and "Rockin' Riley." Devo bassist Gerald Casale created that hat which he calls an "energy dome." (Whatever that means!)
He says it's "copyrighted and trademarked plus, we don't like McDonald's and we don't like 'American Idol' so we're doubly offended."

Meet HOPE, a tiny Maltese puppy from the Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue in Chattanooga, TN that was born with no front legs. At first, Hope got around by hopping on her back legs - but a veterinarian warned rescue workers that Hope would eventually damage her bones and spine. David Turnbill, an orthotist (someone who designs prosthetics) developed a device which would help the puppy get around by using model airplane wheels in place of Hope's missing legs.

The wheels are spring loaded and hook to a custom-fitted chest plate...which allows Hope to lie or sit down without removing the wheels. And since the prosthetic arms move independently of one another, Hope can pretty much run and move around like any other dog.

A Fire Footbag is basically just a regular Hacky Sack (a small bag made out of leather or yearn that's filled with beads.. Hippies love to kick them) that you can douse with lighter fluid and ignite, in order to kick around a flaming ball of fire. SERIOUSLY! The Fire Footbag is made of fire resistant Kevlar - which means you can light it as many times as you like, and it will never burn up.

THE PRO's: You get to wear a fancy costume that would probably get you beaten up if you wore it ANYWHERE outside the bullfighting ring. Also, chicks think you're brave...which might help you score.

The CON's: Every now and then you get gored by the bull. And sometimes, the horn catches you right in the crotch!

A British mugger in the Bromely part of London robbed two passengers on the metro a couple of months ago. He pretty much got away with the crime - until police recently discovered an interesting security video.

On March 23rd, the mugger confronted a 16-year-old-kid, the kids' girlfriend and another friend while they were taking the train. He demanded their jewelry, and threatened to stab them with a knife if they didn't hand it over. Adter taking a silver bracelet and necklace worth $400 - the thief tried on the new jewelry and admired himself by CHECKING OUT HIS REFLECTION IN THE LENS OF THE SECURITY CAMERA ON THE TRAIN! The resulting 15 seconds of video show this idiot's mug shot (see above) and police are distributing photographic stills to capture the robber! What an idiot!?!?!

Last Friday, George Chandler of Shawnee Kansas was working on a carpentry project in his backyard. His buddy was helping him out, nailing together some wooden boards with a nun gun.
Gorge's buddy got the nail gun cord all tangled up and accidentally fired off a two-and-a-half-inch nail. Neither George nor his buddy saw where his nail went. That's when they realized it had sunk into George's skull.
George said it felt like a sting but there wasn't any blood - probably because the nail was so deep. George was awake when medics rushed him to the hospital and awake while doctors were evaluating their options. The doctors decided on the modern medical marvel known as a HAMMER! The attending physicians asked if anyone had an everyday hammer - a claw hammer to pull the nail out exactly the way it went in. The procedure was a success and George is now fine he'll have to return to the hospital for a few follow-up visits.

3-year-old Christopher Air and his family were at an arcade in the U.K. and Chris was determined to win a stuffed bear from the claw machine. He ran out of money without getting the bear. Chris crawled into the machine through the slot where the toy gets dropped. He went in just fine and got the bear - but he was then TRAPPED!
After 30 minutes the manager found his keys and let Chris out. The manager even let him keep the bear.

Did that guy (see pic above) paint this?
Or is this the school where his kids attend?

They looked red or white and they flickered. They were visible for nearly 15 minutes on Monday (4/21) night. The lights were seen by, among others, a Phoenix police-helicopter pilot, air-traffic controllers and a reporter. There was even an extended videotape. The mystery couldn't be answered by civilian or military authorities. The North American Aerospace Defense Command, which monitors the skies for security threats, said the organization did not know where the lights came from. Luke Air Force Base officials said that they didn't have any aircraft in the sky Monday night and that the lights were not part of any Air Force activities. On Tuesday (4/22) many people were talking about a similar incident in March 1997, when a string of lights was visible over the city.

Last month, Clinton, Louisiana enacted a "sagging pants" law. Basically, if your pants are hanging below your waist and your underwear's showing the police will give you a ticket. They say it's "indecent exposure," and apparently, in Clinton, the ordinance also applies to wearing skirts . . . at least if you're a MAN. Just ask Jay Herrod of Slaughter, Louisiana.

And while Jay admits his skirt occasionally does fly up he says that since he suffers from a medical condition, he should be exempt from the ordinance, and he plans to appeal the fine.

19-year-old Tasha Maltby is walked around by
her boyfriend, 25-year-old Dani Graves, on a leash
Earlier this week, 25-year-old Dani Graves and his fiancée, 19-year-old Tasha Maltby, both from West Yorkshire, England, were on a bus . . . when the driver kicked them off! Here is Tasha's explanation. Quote, "I am a pet. I act animal-like and I lead a really easy life. I don't cook or clean and I don't go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It's my culture and my choice. It isn't hurting anyone." --The driver kicked them off, because, he said, he was afraid for passenger safety. His logic: If he had to stop the bus suddenly, another passenger could be thrown into the leash, which could seriously injure them.

A picture began circulating in November. Unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it. (This is a medical picture, may be considered "graphic content.")

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.
The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.
During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr.Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developedhand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr.Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.
The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, 'Hand of Hope.' The text explaining the picture begins, 'The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.'
Little Samuel's mother said they 'wept for days' when they saw the picture. She said, 'The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person.' Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful.

Some are calling this the Picture of the Year
The online caption reads:
"Dear God, Thank you for sending me to Timmy's house...
and not Michael Vick's!"

SOME PEOPLE SHOULDN'T SIT TOGETHER...
I double checked...they really both play for WVU this season!

Let's just imagine how this phone call went...
Hello...I'd like to order a cake.
Wal-Mart Bakery: "What kind?"
Chocolate and white icing.
Please write on it: Best Wishes Suzanne
and underneath that...
We will miss you.